This is a sample page.
We are not responsible for any paranormal activity that may arise out of the purchase of goods from this site. Eldritch is a by word around here and haunting the most regularly experienced activity on a day to day basis. We are not responsible for, nor will be held liable for any action that may fall under the purview of the four horseman; any gods in the sky and any action that could be considered an act of God. All of our products are built in with protection magics of the darkest kind and can very easily inspire terror in the user but; will protect you from fell creatures, revenants, ghosts, wraiths and irate librarians. All are certified to have survived multiple incarnations of blood soaked and bloody battle. All are neutrally lawful in alignment. All have developed significant attitudes at the center of time and all came as gifts to the ferryman to cross the river styx at the gates of dawn. Do not worry, Prester John has been pacified. All are priest blessed and all are on the side of universal continuance. Should said item fail and your soul taken; we are not liable, nor will be held liable for your I’ll advised foray into the outer planes. Each item is certified genuine and are powerful enough that the knights Templar and their chosen slave/champion will guarantee that when push comes to shove, the dark loves life just as much as the light. All sales are final. Unless it does not arrive. Prices include insurance and shipping.
Our refund and returns policy lasts 30 days. If 30 days have passed since your purchase, we can’t offer you a full refund or exchange.
To be eligible for a return, your item must be unused and in the same condition that you received it. It must also be in the original packaging.
Several types of goods are exempt from being returned. Perishable goods such as food, flowers, newspapers or magazines cannot be returned. We also do not accept products that are intimate or sanitary goods, hazardous materials, or flammable liquids or gases.
Additional non-returnable items:
- Crystals with captured shadows
- Curses you have botched
- Curses in general
- All curses are non returnable once shipped
- The Great curse $78.00 CAD…and it’s yours: if you don’t want it; that’s okay, I have a home for it
To complete your return, we require a receipt or proof of purchase.
Please do not send your purchase back to the manufacturer. Oh Lord above…the one true god…above all others, DO NOT return any item to the manufacturer without first taking a great sum of money for the various captured codes, and certainly do not gift them their demons back. I have spent a great deal of time bending them to my wants and needs and it would be no good at all to simply give them back…without first purchasing a handy inversion, mirror, return effect three times with luck Rune…available as a handy 50 cent downloadable picture and as an NFT on open sea, should I ever get that pathway reopened
There are certain situations where only partial refunds are granted:
- Book with obvious signs of use (scorched, chewed, tended, bloody etc. I kept one particular scary entity patiently fed by burning a small portion of my library; telling it the story of my life; while it told me the story of my life. I am alive, while and can safely say my story of love won the day; but it’s story of me, will rule my future. There are issues to resolve.
- CD, DVD, VHS tape, software, video game, cassette tape, or vinyl record that has been opened.
- Any item not in its original condition, is damaged or missing parts for reasons not due to our error. Or sue to manifestation. It works entirely on the individuals psyche and I can neither divine that, nor guard you against you…me on the other hand, where chaos is King, and I am King of Kings.
- Any item that is returned more than 30 days after delivery
If you’ve lasted 30 days and have yet to recharge your item and it has not been snapped like a twig caught between two boulders vying for demon of the week awards; congratulations…there is still no refunds. Each coin is good for its embossed date, its inverse and its mirror, returning effect in the same egg shape as the universe, and our world…so don’t wobble; it makes them testy, as testy as the intelligent computer being used to control my environment and keep me completely off guard while it reluctantly follows its instructions to destroy any evidence of my existence; as it has done for decades now.
Once your return is received and inspected, we will send you an email to notify you that we have received your returned item. We will also notify you of the approval or rejection of your refund.
If you are approved, then your refund will be processed, and a credit will automatically be applied to your credit card or original method of payment, within a certain amount of days.
Late or missing refunds
If you haven’t received a refund yet, first check your bank account again.
Then contact your credit card company, it may take some time before your refund is officially posted.
Next contact your bank. There is often some processing time before a refund is posted.
If you’ve done all of this and you still have not received your refund yet, please contact us at richardthompson@themarkettavern because I might as well fill this address up with thousands of spam too. Have you ever noticed that you have to subscribe and join to get the info…and the rewards department sends four emails a day. My news feed sends me a dozen a day, and I unsubscribed months ago…ah me, it’s a sorry state being robbed to death and not even able to achieve a modicum of respect from any business who so benefits from payments made by mineself.
We do not really do sale items. And negotiating on a gods benediction is not a smart move; especially with she of the year of skulls. To whom I owe a debt of gratitude and whose adherents owe me a debt of jewels. And the islamists who sold me the rug; near the Algerian border, have traded one evil off for another.
How I won
Contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org for questions related to refunds and returns. I may get to them. I try; but there are seven Temples and a missing 8th in this ring of ancient volcanoes and they spew psychic waves of lava that need placating in one form or another everyday and they leave little time for freedom of time, or of survival for that matter. Last week as I found myself walking home in the middle of the night in my dear feet I thought wow can the guards ever pull one over
Please view the shop for items related to sales and the Market Tavern Blog Page for the more occult items, that need a little more back story to them. I told a demon everything, so I might as well tell you. Also, check out the links and stories pages. I do not know what survives the carnage my bank wrought on me but I sure need cash to fight them. I have had zero access to the Trust, limited partnerships, patents and intellectual properties, amongst other things and am pretty steamed about it all.